I did my first lawn care job when I was 16. I had a science teacher that always had it out for me. That guy gave me more swats than I could count. So, after a big rain, I decided to turn some donuts in his yard. I left some pretty good-sized ruts- and it felt good! Well, somebody saw me and told my dad, so he made me go landscape his yard before the cops found out. I did such a good job that my teacher decided to hire me to maintain his grass for the next few years.
After school, I joined the military. It was then when my special intimate relationship with grass began. Since I was a bit of a talker, I spent most of my time in the grass doing pushups, low crawls, and even cutting grass with scissors. Later in my career, being the good talker that I was, I decided to go to Drill Sergeant School. I can't tell you how many trees I've yelled at and tried to teach during this school, but the only thing I ever got them to do was to stand still and grow. As a Drill Sergeant, I wanted soldiers to have the same experience I had, and enjoy the company of grass. So, I made soldiers eat grass, dip grass, sweep/mop grass, tell grass their life story, use grass as earplugs, and when the grass was dying I made them give it CPR because chest compressions were just modified push-ups.
I think grass and I have a pretty good relationship. We have always been able to see eye to eye- literally! So now I take care of the grass. And in return, it takes care of me.